it's coffee o'clock somewhere.
Currently, I find myself sitting in my bathing suit on the white sandy beaches of Bora Bora. I had to walk approximately five steps from my huts door to be in the sand. I have a mug of coffee in my hand, no make up on and a whole lotta sunscreen, because this is all that is going to happen for the day.
The last two weeks have been full of adventure; 8 different modes of transportation, 7 different beaches, 6 long flight legs, 5 countries, 4 new stamps in my passport, 3 crew members, 2 1/2 weeks away from home, and 1 new year to celebrate and 0 worries, ifs, ands or buts.
The last two weeks have had an unexpected and beautiful unfolding that has left me feeling more like the person I want to be than I've felt in a long time. I've never not been honest when writing to you all, so you've seen that this path for me as a flight attendant hasn't been easy or necessarily the number one choice that I had for my life--and there have been times where I've nearly broke under the pressure, the constant change and the consistent inconsistency, not to mention turbulence.
This trip started on Christmas day and will put me back home in just five short days, coming out to a 2 1/2 week trip. For the first time in so long, I can say strongly that there hasn't been a day where I've not wanted to be exactly where I am. In each place we've been this trip, I"ve had these wonderful moments of clarity and complete peace that have me holding onto each place more than the last. If you're a flight attendant that is reading this, I feel like any of us can relate to the overwhelming, exhausting moments that can lead to feeling stressed each trip, that makes the most magical and beautiful trip tainted with jet laggy bitterness and longing for a good rest...but if you are a flight attendant, you also know to hold on and you'll make it back into the clouds and when you land it could be the destination that will make your heart feel revived again.
For me, this trip, has been one of those where you get to the destination and you are refreshed, we fly out again, land, and again, I'm taken aback by how rejuvenated I feel. I know what you may be thinking, which is, how can you not be happy and new in Fiji, Australia, New Zealand, the beaches of Bora Bora? But, until you've lived life as a flight attendant, you don't know that sometimes those trips are something you dread because you're exhausted and been out on the road for 28 days, you have things happening in your homelife, you miss your dog, it's Christmas and New Years and you are with strangers you just met instead of those that make you feel known in the world. It's the life we choose, but for some of us that doesn't make it easier.
I remember once, when I worked for a regional airline, being utterly and completely on empty and had been coasting there for a few days too many. I had been doing six leg days, working from dusk till far past dawn, and doing it day after day. I was scraping for money, because as a regional flight attendant you make close to two pennies and one of them you use for food. I wanted to walk to the store to get groceries when we got in from yet another 14 hour day, and I went to change out of my uniform and realized my pants were still in the dryer at home, eating to be packed. So, now my mission to get any kind of food as I'm starving, has become--must find pants, then food.
I sported my pencil flight attendant skirt, a sweatshirt I managed to remember to pack, and my white converse, and out into Calgary I went. It was a fashion statement to say the least, but I didn't care, I was exhausted, I would never see any of these people ever again and I just wanted some stinking pants instead of a pencil skirt. As I was walking to the train station I heard thunder and lightening crash down near me, and the next thing I knew it was pouring down rain so hard I could barely see my own hand in front of me. I started to sprint back to my hotel, with no need to, as I was already drenched to the bone, but running kept me slightly warmer. And before I could cross the train tracks to get to my hotel, a train came and stopped me, leaving me drenched and continuing to be drenched in the rain. At first my attitude was that of bitter "of course this would happen to me", but then before I could finish my thought, a car drove past me and splashed yet another abundance of water on me. Resoaked as if I'd walked under the pouring of a water fall. I stood there for a minute, stunned, but then something unexpected happened--I laughed, and I laughed hard. I felt the rain pelting on my skin and it was delightful. I couldn't keep the grin off my face as I walked towards my hotel. I jumped in every puddle I could, like a little kid. And just like that, as I walked into my hotel dripping from every piece of clothing and strand of hair on my head, I felt refreshed and like I could do this again.
Life is funny like that, how in the unexpected moments of your days, you can have some of your best memories without anticipating it. Others, you wait and wait for that "clarity" moment to come where you can breathe again, but it doesn't come for too long. And those ones, it can be hard to hold onto making it until the new destination, whether it be Rome or Reno, but from someone that has been on the edge of her jumpseat crying--hold on just a little while longer my friend. You can do this and when you do this sweet little moment in the fresh rain catches you and instead of crying like you feel you should, your heart will be greeted with laughter and joy that you are here in this silly moment, but you are here which is why everything will be okay.
This line of work started out as a way to pay the bills in a season that I felt utterly confused and lost in and somehow it's turned into a two and a half year journey that now has me sitting in places doing things I could have never imagined, while I live a budding career of catering at 41,000 feet. The aviation life isn't for everyone, and to be honest I'm still not convinced it's for me, but I do know I'm having the adventures of a lifetime figuring all of that out. I'll take every LA to New York route that i feel like I may lose my cool on, for this one trip that leaves me feeling like I can do anything I set my mind to and everything else will fall into place.
